Cartman's War
by Funnyman Timmy
Summary: When Kyle misses a special Terrance and Phillip appearence Cartman declares war on his family. But when things go hay-wire Stan, Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman must stop what Cartman has done before all hope is lost for all time. Plus Terrance and Phillip appea
1. Chapter 1

"_I don't own the characters of South Park. They're copyrights are owned by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I am just using them for my story."_

**Cartman's War**

By Funnyman Timmy

Chapter One

It was just another boring day at South Park Elementary. Kyle, Stan, and Kenny joined they're friend Eric Cartman in the lunch line. "Dude I can't wait for tonight's Conan O'Brien episode." said Stan to his friends. "Yeah I can't believe Terrance and Phillip are actually being seen on that show" said Kyle relating to the last time they appeared on television. "Hello Children." said Chef. "Hey Chef." said the quadrio. "What's going on?" asked Chef. "Terrance and Phillip are appearing on Conan O'Brien tonight." Said Kyle walking off to get milk. "Well have fun." yelled Chef. "Dude this is going to beat that time Kyle's mom took us to the Jewish part of New York." said Cartman laughing hysterically. "Shut up Cartman!" yelled Kyle. Indeed Cartman's words were right. Every kid in South Park was watching Conan O'Brien. All except Kyle who missed it because of The Wizard of Oz on ABC Family. The next day the school was a buzz about the interview. "You mean you missed it because of your mom watching the Wizard of Oz?" said Stan. Kyle nodded. "That's it I am not going to hear anymore about your fcking bitch of a mother" yelled Cartman. "as of now I declare war on the Broflovski family."!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Explanations

Later on at Recess Cartman was planning his attack plan. "Dude why didn't you see the interview?" asked Stan. "Well I was tuning into a rerun of Terrance and Phillip when…………………………" remembered Kyle. "My mom came up to me and said." "Kyle I'm very sorry about this but I have to watch The Wizard of Oz because there's a documentary I want to see." Said Sheila. "But Mom Terrance and Phillip……" said Kyle. "I don't care about those fucking Canadians." "After that I played with Ike." Said Kyle. "First Shelly tried to stop me but I smacked her with a chair. Now I think she is just afraid of me because of that." Said Stan. "I celebrated with a party with my girl friend and my Dad's magazines." Muffled Kenny. Just then Cartman came up and swept Stan and Kenny away near where Butters was playing to discuss his plans. "Stan you'll gather up your armies and the join Kenny and get a leader. As I am your dictator. Meanwhile I will kidnap Kyle's mom." Said Cartman. "What?" asked Stan.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**The Meeting**

As Cartman walked off to work on his plans. Wendy Testaburger walked up to Stan. "Hi Stan." Said Wendy. Stan barfed up so much puck it blinded Wendy. Wendy screamed at the top of her lungs as she ran around smacking kids out of the way. First Butters, Then Pip, Then Bebe, Then Clyde, Then Craig, Then Token, Then Tweek, Then Jimmy, then she knocked over Timmy's wheelchair, Then Rebecca (Red), and Last Dougie. Then (by accident) Wendy push Gregory over the fence and a truck ran over him. "Oh my god Wendy killed Gregory!" muffled Kenny. "Cool." Said Stan.

But Gregory only broke an arm and Wendy agreed to a deal with Stan. Later that Day Stan and Kenny walked to Cartman's house. They were very tired from school and also very confused. When they came to Cartman's House a note told them to go to the backyard. When they got to the backyard Cartman was sitting at a table they he set up along with the folding chairs.

"So who did you get for your armies guys?" asked Cartman. "Well I got my Uncle Jimbo, Ned, my dad, Wendy, Timmy, and I got Gregory as the assistant leader." Said Stan. "Kenny?" asked Cartman. "I got Kelly (his girlfriend), Butters, Jimmy, my dad, Dog Poo, and I got Tweak as my assistant." Muffled Kenny. "Good. And I captured Mrs. Broflovski after Kyle went out to round up his own army." Said Cartman. Little did the Cartman alliance knew that right at that moment Kyle's alliance (made up of Ike, Kyle's Dad, Bebe, Craig, Clyde, Pip, Token, Jason, Kevin, Rebecca, and Starvin' Marvin.) were discussing previous events. "Somehow as a first resort Cartman kidnapped my mom and is torturing her by making her eat cat shit." Said Kyle. "And now we must plan our attacks." Said Mr. Broflovski. "Will start at Cartman's clubhouse located three blocks down from Town Hall." Said Kyle. "And then……" "And then after we will blow up Kyle's room and then run to safety at Carl's Warehouse." Said Cartman. "Get lots of sleep tomorrow we begin destruction…"…


	4. Chapter 4

"_I don't own South Park or the characters. They're copyrights of Comedy Central, Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I am just using them in my story."_

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**THE END OF THE WAR**

The next day Cartman's Plans went as he planned. But little did Cartman know Kyle and his army was sneaking into his house. With a battering ram they busted the door off its hinges. "Kyle how did you find me?" asked Sheila as they released her from her prison. "Kyle you son of a bitch!" They looked around. It was Cartman's alliance! Cartman was holding a bomb with a button on top.

"Cartman don't you….." said Kyle. But it was too late. The bomb blew everyone into the backyard. "Now it's time to kill the one who began all this." Said Cartman picking up a gun weakly and shooting Sheila. "Cartman!" yelled Kyle snatching the gun. Kyle shot straight at Cartman. But instead it hit…………… MR. KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Kitty?" said Cartman "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Weeks later Sheila and Mr. Kitty recovered and everything was back to normal. "So Kyle no hard feelings right?" asked Cartman. Later Cartman ended up spending all his money he stole from a box in Kyle's room to fix it. "You should've told my Mom that you were pissed off Cartman." Said Kyle. "Oh no Kyle he shouldn't have. And now since that fuss over Terrance and Phillip. I'll finish what I started in 1998." Said Sheila hiding in the closet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Epilogue**

After that fateful adventure. Sheila began plans to get M.A.C. back together. Meanwhile Gregory and Wendy finally broke up and Wendy began dating Stan. Kelly moved next door to Kenny so they could be able to be at each others house and in the same school. Cartman stopped talking to Sheila after what she did. Chef had two lines so he can't be mentioned.

Directed by Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Cast:

Trey Parker as Stan, Cartman, Clyde, Craig, Jimmy, Timmy, Dog Poo, Randy, Ned, Mr. Kitty, and Phillip

Matt Stone as Kyle, Kenny, Gerald, Stuart, Pip, Tweek, Kevin, Terrance, and Jimbo

Mona Marshall as Sheila and Mrs. Tweek

April Stewart as Wendy and the rest

Isaac Hayes as Chef

Produced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Exec. Producer Adam Schroeder

Music by Hans Zimmer and Danny Elman

Score by James Hetfield and Marc Shaiman

**THE END**


End file.
